NUFC no longer for sale, Hughton given job permanently, Mike Ashley most wanted man in Newcastle is describing it as ‘the final insult’. I wish I could be so confident, because knowing Mike Ashley there is probably still far worse to come.


Fat Cockney Bastard

Last night was a new low for me as a Newcastle United supporter. Admittedly, I am fortunate enough to have only grown up as a fan in the Premier League era, but you’d be hard pushed to find a more farcial, disgusting ownership of a football club in the history of football.

Where there used to be dissatisfaction, annoyance and then contempt, there is now all-out open hatred between the owner and the fans. Actual hatred – I am not using that word lightly. Make no mistake about it, he hates us too.

First of all, Chris Hughton. This man is not a manager. In footballing terms he is a nobody, and he probably can’t believe his fucking luck. He has Mike Ashley to thank for this opportunity. Look, he even said so himself yesterday:

“I thank Mike and Derek for their support and will be doing everything in my power to get the Club back into the Premier League at the first time of asking

If I was given a job that I was less than qualified to do, paying me more than 5 times the salary I should be on, would I fuck ever question my employer. I’d keep my head down and thank my lucky stars. This is what we can expect from Hughton. In January he will be told that there is no money for transfers and that he must raise transfer funds from selling players. He will sell a couple of our biggest assets (Nolan and Steven Taylor) but at the last minute he will be told that he will only be given a couple of million of the £12m received, which will be spent on absolute shite. Hughton will not question this, in the same way Joe Kinnear did not question it last January. Its all so very predictable.


Dunno what the fuck he's so happy about

From a footballing point of view, Hughton has not done enough to warrant being given the job. The football at times this year has been absolutely appalling. That he has been offered the job now, in the midst of this bad run, and not weeks ago after beating Ipswich 4-0, is typical of Mike Ashley. A man who does not know anything about football sees that we are top of the table and assumes everything must be rosy. I know that because I get countless bores (who know as little about football as Mike Ashley) in my local telling me that Hughton must be doing a good job because we’re top – as if that tells the whole story.

Cardiff and QPR are scoring for fun. West Brom are solid and Boro will be more of a threat now that Strachan is there. At best, we are 5th favourites now for an automatic spot – and that’s assuming that we don’t lose half the team in January. Like I said the other day, I am not being over the top when I say that our promotion hinges entirely on our ability to get Steven Taylor and Coloccini fit again for the rest of the season.

Ok, second of all, the club is off the market. Like we were ever on it! Newcastle United was never going to be sold for £100m, not a chance. No one else is as stupid as Mike Ashley. In 2006, Aston Villa were sold to Randy Lerner for approximately £60m. That’s a solid, well run Premier League club with no debt and a stable wage bill. What on Earth made Ashley think he could get £100m for a Championship club with an unsustainable wage bill and an untalented squad? Quite simply, Ashley knew the club would not be sold. Most people suspected it all along, but now it is undeniable. If he really wanted a quick sale, as he said, he would have lowered the asking price until a buyer was found. That he did not budge says everything. The ‘sale’ of the club was the smokescreen that allowed him to sell anyone he could, not buy any replacements and leave Alan Shearer in limbo. His intention all along was to see if we could achieve promotion without a penny of investment. Somehow, he may still achieve that goal. He certainly does not deserve it.

So what about Alan Shearer? As if we didn’t already know, we can now be certain that this was another lie from Derek Llambias:

“We want him to be the manager 110%

He’s very good at what he does and he’s a straight-talking guy – we like that. He’d be the perfect appointment.”

Mike Ashley and Alan Shearer had a meeting in the immediate aftermath of our relegation, and Mike Ashley did not like what he heard. Alan Shearer obviously set out a plan and, presumably, it was going to cost Ashley too much money. Alan Shearer wanted what was best for Newcastle United but Ashley couldn’t have that. Alan Shearer wanted to keep Bassong and Beye, but Ashley knew he would be able to sell the pair of them for 13-14m. Alan Shearer had a list of targets that he thought would be able to do a good job for us in the Championship, but again, it would have cost Ashley more money. The whole excuse that they didn’t want to appoint him, incase a new owner wants someone else in the job was utter bullshit. To be fair, most Newcastle fans realised this. My hope now is that Alan Shearer reveals all about Mike Ashley. He’s been keeping tight-lipped all Summer – not wanting to jeopardise the possibility of him getting the job – but now that he has been ignored for the last time, there is no need for it. He owes it to the fans. Unfortunately, very little is actually known about the inner-workings of Mike Ashley. The Kevin Keegan court case was fascinating, in that it confirmed everything we thought about the dealings of the man. Now, Shearer needs to stand up and be counted.

On the issue of this ‘£20m’ investment that we can expect. Never have I heard such utter tripe in all my life. I’ll only believe it when I see it on the fucking football pitch in the form of new signings. What bullshit. The nerve of the man, the fucking nerve. How he dare inform the press of his intention to invest £20m as if to say he is some sort of hero, is beyond me. He owns the football club, its what owners are supposed to do. You don’t get other football club owners declaring to the media exactly how much they are putting in. What’s even worse is that certain cocks at Sky are falling for it hook, like and sinker.

Yes, that’s right. I’m talking about David Craig. North-East football correspondent? Fuck me. Mike Ashley propaganda minister more like. I had the displeasure of seeing this slimy little rat on Sky Sports News this morning, launching an all-out defence of Mike Ashley. I couldn’t believe my fucking ears. Apparently we should be grateful that he has invested £20m. Yeah, thanks Mike Ashley. My fucking hero. Apparently he and Llambias spent time at the training ground this week and the one thing that the players and fans wanted was ‘stability’, and he’s delivered that. Yet another thing to be grateful for eh?! Fuck me. When the Sky Sports News presenter came back at him by saying that and the emails from supporters they’ve been getting suggest that Newcastle fans are livid and see this as the final straw, Craig responded by saying ‘well there’s 47,000 different opinions and the one thing that all Newcastle fans want is Premier League football so I am sure they will get back behind the team’. Fuck off. I can assure him that there is 47,000+ people that would not piss on Mike Ashley if he were on fire. For far too long, companies like Sky (and David Craig in particular) have been in the pocket of Mike Ashley. Sky have even employed Dennis Wise as a pundit recently, giving him a platform to spew his bullshit. What a joke organisation.

And finally, the naming rights to St.James’ Park… Well, what can be said? If Mike Ashley thinks that he can re-name our stadium then he needs to wake up. We will not allow it. Would I fuck pay to go and see Newcastle United play in the Sports Direct Arena, the Greggs Stadium or fucking Pizza Hut Park. I hope I would not be alone in those sentiments. I hope that at Bramall Lane on Monday night the Newcastle fans in attendance let that fat fuck have it.


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