Mike Ashley Takeover Deadline no. 32

Quick blog on the big ‘announcement’ today. That annoucement of course being that there is no news. Fucking pathetic. Is there anything in this world that is less convincing than a Mike Ashley set deadline? A haphazard guess at the number of takeover ‘deadlines’ set by Mike Ashley this summer leaves me with a figure of seven. What a joke.

And another point, I thought that the reason Ashley opted against appointing Alan Shearer was because not all the prospective new owners wanted him. Well now there is only one potential buyer – Barry Moat – and he wants Shearer. And unless Ashley was lying at the end of last saeson – perish the thought – then he considered Shearer to be the best decision he has made in the last two years. So why has he still not been offered the job? Because Ashley is full of sh**, that’s why. And he never had any intention of giving Shearer the job full time. One post-relegation meeting with Shearer was enough to convince Ashley that he wasn’t the right man for him. Shearer wanted some assurances, he wanted some money and he wanted some power at the club – three things that Ashley was unwilling to give him. Why go through the hassle of having to deal with a proper manager when you can pay an empty track suit to eat up your sh** and ‘manage’ the team on a care-taker basis.

Speaking of Chris Hughton, yes – he’s done a good job in the circumstances. How many of these results are down to him is questionable. It’s been quite clear in our four games so far that the players that remain are simply much, much better than their Championship opposition. His substitutions have been dodgy, as has his reluctance to give youth a chance. He doesn’t like dropping big names. As a result, it is likely that in the next few weeks we will line up with a 5 man midfield of Gutierrez, Smith, Nolan, Butt, Barton and Ameobi upfront on his own. Not exactly what I’d call balanced. He’s now come out and said that he’d take the job if offered it full time. Dear God no. I think someone should explain to Hughton the phenomenon of the caretaker manager. It happens every time. Caretaker (usually a former no2) takes over and does a decent job. Caretaker is offered the job full time and fails spectacularly. Glenn Roeder and Joe Kinnear are two recent examples at Newcastle alone. Ricky Sbragia last season was a hilarious example at Sunderland and it almost cost them their place in the Premier League. He had the awareness to step down at the end of the season, realising how out of his depth he was – something that Hughton could do well to take note of. Paul Hart is another current example in the Premiership. He may as well have Dead Man Walking stamped on his forehead.

Back to the takeover… why Ashley can’t simply appoint a manager and give that manager the authority to bring in some cheap/free/loan signings is beyond me. This ‘deadline’ nonsense is f***ing ridiculous. I realise that the man knows f*** all about football, but these sorts of decisions require only a modicum of business sense. I just can’’t get my head around it.

Crystal Palace 0-2 Newcastle United

NUFC: Harper, Simpson, Enrique, Smith, Coloccini, S.Taylor, Nolan, Guthrie (Ranger 66), Ameobi, R.Taylor (Butt 66), Gutierrez (Geremi 89).

Crystal Palace were completely outclassed by this fragile looking Newcastle United team in a game that many – myself included – thought would see us finally come unstuck.

 

£30 and a steel post blocks the view of the opposition area

 

From the moment that Kevin Nolan put away Gutierrez’s lofted through ball in the third minute, the result never really looked in any doubt. The gulf in class was evident, even when Palace took control of possession for large spells of the second half.

With Palace – like us – seemingly unable to bring in any new signings, they looked horrendously ineffective upfront and even Coloccini looked impressive. There was a collective gasp of dread from the away end every time Coloccini decided to take more than one touch, but this blog is all about fairness, and more often than not on Saturday Coloccini pulled it off. He still has a tendency to get turned far too easily – when you’re that slow, it is not a good idea to stay touch tight on your man – but Saturday was by far his best game of the season.

After the rotund Nolan’s opener, and Coloccini’s solidity, it was the turn of another much maligned Newcastle player to impress when Ryan Taylor scored a fabulous curling effort on his left foot after 21 minutes. Like so much of this team it seems, Ryan Taylor really seems to have found his level in this division. After his cross for Ameobi’s second against Reading, Beye’s departure and Danny Simpson’s arrival, Ryan Taylor looks set to be our first choice right midfielder this year. Am I delighted with that? No, obviously. But he has already demonstrated in the last few games that he has a lot more final product to his game than Jonas on the opposite flank (despite his rather fortunate assist for Nolan on Saturday).

Guthrie made his return to the side and I was very impressed, as I was all of last season. Whilst I would like to see us keep him – especially as he is probably on relatively modest wages – there are plenty of teams in the Premiership who could do worse than put in a cheeky bid for the young midfielder. He was presumably taken off because he lacked match fitness, but I do worry about how the hell we are going to be accommodate five big name central midfielders in Nolan, Smith, Butt, Barton and Guthrie. I’d like Butt and Barton sold, but whilst the former has been linked with a move to a couple of the newly promoted Premiership sides, sadly no one is going to go anywhere near Barton. Although I personally rate Guthrie over both Nolan and Smith, the pair of them have looked good in recent weeks and I don’t like to change a winning side. Nolan is improving and Smith has well and truly made me eat my words. He has not only kept up the promise he showed against West Brom, he’s getting better with each game.

The fans were magnificent on Saturday and the Palace fans that I spoke to after the game remarked on how impressive we were. Ashley songs were largely reserved for the final 10 minutes, enabling us to focus on the game for the previous 80.

 

Cheapskate

 

Player Ratings:

Harper – 6: Whilst I’ve been vocal of my support for Tim Krul, Harper continues to give Hughton reason to stand by him. Three clean sheets in a row is outstanding, and he’s made a couple of important saves in both the Sheff Wed and Palace games now.

Simpson – 6: Pleasantly surprisingly, very solid defensively. Didn’t get forward quite as much as he could have done, considering our superiority, but its only his second game and he looks more than a capable player at this level.

S Taylor – 7: Former a rock solid partnership with Coloccini (never thought I’d say that) that coped comfortably with most of what Palace threw at them in the second half.

Coloccini – 7: First 7/10 I’ve given the Argentine. Took a few too many touches on occasion – as usual – but he got away with it and he even won a few headers! When the diminutive Freddie Sears is the main threat though, you would expect this level of performance from a £10m centre back.

Enrique – 7: Brilliant performance from the Spaniard. I lost count of the number of times he came away with the ball off the opposition winger. Like Simpson, probably didn’t get forward as much as he usually does but defensively he was spot on. Too good for this league and it wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest if a La Liga team comes in for him this week… MOTM

R Taylor – 7: Took his goal superbly and worked hard. Didn’t get much of a chance to impress with his crosses as Ameobi was pretty isolated – he’ll fare better with both Ameobi and Carroll on the pitch.

Nolan – 7: First league goal in a Newcastle shirt, which should encourage him to get forward even more in the coming weeks.

Smith – 7: Won countless headers in the midfield area, which is something that I didn’t expect to see. No booking, for once. Passing was an improvement. I’d like to see him get a goal just to banish his goal demons.

Gutierrez – 6: Didn’t have as much joy with the opposing full back as usual, but at least this time one of his crosses came to something. The intended target was arguably Ameobi, but it was still an accurate, dangerous looking ball that Ameobi had the awareness to dummy and leave to Nolan at the far post. A bit less of the diving and rolling around as the season has progressed, which is good to see.

Guthrie – 7: Seemed to be the designated support for Ameobi, which isn’t really the best way to use him. Passing was effective and he did make one very good run that should have resulted in a goal but for Ameobi’s poor finish. It would be a shame to see him wasted on the bench once all our central midfielders are back and fit.

Ameobi – 6: Not one of his better games, but he did at least keep up his new and improved work rate of recent weeks. Isolated through no fault of his own, it wasn’t a surprise to see him looking more dangerous once Nile Ranger came on to partner him with half an hour to go.

SUBS:

Ranger – 6: Words cannot describe how delighted I was to see Ranger coming on instead of Xisco in the 66^th minute. Xisco has no future at this club – Ranger does. Looked quick and strong. Hopefully will be given a full start against Huddersfield on Wednesday night so we can get a proper look at him.

Butt – 6: A generous six, as he didn’t do anything particularly wrong. Is he our new set piece taker then? After replacing Taylor, and before Geremi came on, Butt assumed that mantle. God knows why. I’m a huge critic of Butt. The mind is willing but his legs are gone. Maybe he could be useful as a 20 minute sub to help us see out games, but assuming he is on something like £50k a week, he represents awful value for money. Get rid to Burnley or Wolves, if possible.

Geremi – 5: Was only on for a few minutes and still did enough to convince me that he should never play for Newcastle United again. And people wonder whether we were right to sack Sam Allardyce…

Newcastle United 1-0 Sheffield Wednesday, and thoughts on Michael Owen’s miserable start

NUFC Team: Harper, Simpson, S Taylor, Coloccini, Enrique, R Taylor (Guthrie 89), Nolan, Smith, Gutierrez, Ameobi (Ranger 87), Carroll (Xisco 58)  

Shola Ameobi came to Newcastle United’s rescue for the second time in five days as we continued our impressive start to the season with a decent win over an alright looking Sheffield Wednesday side. To be honest, anything less than three points would have been hugely disappointing as – despite our problems – I’m not sure we didn’t have one player in our first XI last night that wouldn’t walk into most Championship sides.

Goal Machine

 

 

The shocking truth is that a midfield consisting of Ryan Taylor, Smith, Nolan and Gutierrez would be horrifically out of its depth in the Premiership, but they are somehow amongst the best – if not the best – in the division. Maybe I’m getting carried away with a couple of good wins, and writing off the Championship is a mistake that is bound to come back and bite me on the arse, but if we are able to keep the bulk of this squad together (but selling the likes of Coloccini, Geremi, Xisco and Gutierrez), and add a couple of new faces (Campbell, Lovenkrands?) and bring in a competent manager, then automatic promotion is more than possible. 

Just like the aftermath of the Reading game, our focus now switches to which of our players will be staying or going. It is safe to say that our hopes now hinge wholly on whether Barry Moat is able to complete a takeover deal before the transfer window closes. If Moat comes in (presumably with Shearer), we could be lining up with a central defensive partnership of Steven Taylor and Sol Campbell. If Ashley remains – Kadar and Coloccini. The two potential combinations are worlds apart in terms of quality. As predicted, Coloccini looks just as bad in the Championship as the Premiership. The quality of defending in La Liga must be truly disgraceful for this clown to have made a living there for so long.

Maybe I’m being harsh on the man after two clean sheets in the last two games, but I’m still not happy with Steve Harper as our no1. Whilst he made a couple of important saves on Wednesday night, by all accounts his kicking was woeful, and the saves were nowhere near as stunning as Krul’s against West Brom. I’m slightly worried by this. Plenty of Premiership clubs could do with a good, young backup goalkeeper. And if you were Krul, wouldn’t you rather be a backup in the Premiership than a backup in the Championship? Harper should not just be in the team as a reward for loyalty, and Hughton’s inability to drop a big name player might end up costing us one of the best young goalkeepers in the country.

Ameobi? Quality. Never doubted his ability for one second… Ahem. Seriously though, perhaps he has found his level in the Championship and I obviously hope that he keeps up this good run. But if we are to gain promotion, lets not fool ourselves into thinking that he has become a better player all of a sudden. Still, great finish last night.

The same goes for all (well, most) of this lot to be honest. Despite the promising start, and even if they are able to lead us back to the Premiership, lets not forget who it was that got us relegated in the first place eh?  

I’d briefly like to comment on Michael Owen. Scumbag of the highest order. The man that took the p*ss out of us for four years and thought he was too good for us. We were told by everyone that we were the reason that he wasn’t scoring goals. We were told that if you give him chances, he will score. We were told that in a team surrounded by good players, he would shine. F*** off. The man hasn’t scored regularly for six years and is a joke. I felt hugely justified when I saw the sitters that he missed last night against Burnley and at the weekend against Birmingham. I watched that first game with a couple of mates who supported Man Utd, and when he fluffed that 1 on 1 the look of confusion on their faces made me chuckle. A quick look at the Man Utd message boards after last night’s defeat against Burnley shows that their fans already think he’s useless! Yeah lads, no sh*t. 

Let’s hope for some promising news on the takeover before the Palace game on Saturday…

Newcastle United 3-0 Reading aka The Ameobi Show

NUFC: Harper, R.Taylor, Jose Enrique, Smith (Geremi 78), Coloccini, S.Taylor, Nolan, Barton (LuaLua 82), Ameobi (Xisco 77), Carroll, Gutierrez.

Are Reading really bad or were we just really good? Is Ameobi going to lead us to promotion with 30 league goals? Who knows. We did indeed look excellent though. After a nervy opening, we went on to completely dominate the game and could have easily had four or five. Everyone played well – even Coloccini and Gutierrez (although the winger plummeted to new depths of incompetence when in shooting range).

The crosses for both of Ameobi’s goals were world class. I’m not surprised by Enrique’s assist, but I must admit that I had to do a double take when I saw Ryan Taylor swing in the best cross you’ll see all weekend anywhere in the country (ok, maybe apart from Modric’s cross for Keane that was headed straight at Reina from 3 yards out). I’m not deliberately playing down Ameobi’s achievements here, but there wasn’t much he needed to do for either goal. Both deliveries were so inch perfect, that had he not scored, we would have been slating him. But fair play, he was expected to put them away, and he did so… although he did get a little lucky with his ‘scuffed’ first header that bounced over the line.

Like a Salmon

The second goal in particular was a thing of beauty. Newcastle were passing it around nicely, and the crowd started responding appropriately. When the ball fell loose down by the touchline, Kevin Nolan sprang into action (I know) and sprinted after it, pulling it back for Joey Barton. At this point, the crowd began to really roar, and I turned to my mate and said ‘f***ing hell listen to the crowd’. You could sense the goal coming. Reading looked all over the place. Barton laid the ball into Taylor’s path and Taylor’s inch perfect cross was met with that beautiful head of Ameobi. It was the best goal that I remember us scoring in quite a long time.

When Shane Long handled in the box soon after, Ameobi seized on the chance to earn his first ever hat-trick from the penalty spot. Ameobi, if you’ll remember, actually takes a pretty damn good penalty. Last season against Sunderland, he stepped up and put it away like a German.

I’ve been critical of Ameobi in the past, but I’m not going to slag him off in the wake of scoring three goals. His playing style has given many people (me included) the impression that he doesn’t give a toss. Well on Saturday he could not be accused of that. It seems ridiculous to talk of ‘potential’ with regards to a 27 year old man, but that is the main word that will inevitably be used when describing his career so far. As a 21/22 year old under Bobby Robson, he looked like a real talent, but if anything he has gone backwards in the past six years. I’m not going to say that this is a turning point, but it does mean that I am willing to wait and see how he does over the next few weeks – something I was not willing to do a week ago. I don’t think it is unreasonable at all that Newcastle fans lost patience with him. He’s been here a long time and for the last five seasons he has largely been diabolical. He also became associated, in many people’s minds, with the Joe Kinnear era – perhaps the least popular Newcastle United manager of all time.

People said it last week after the West Brom game; what’s the point in playing Ameobi and Carroll upfront if you’re not going to get any crosses in? With Duff on the right and Gutierrez on the left, the crosses did not materialise. On Saturday, whether it was because of Duff’s absence or not, the crosses rained in and we got three goals. Not a coincidence.

As everyone knows, the big worry now is that we may not have any players left by the 1^st September. The main one is that Steven Taylor may be off to Everton if Lescott is sold, and that Sol Campbell may be brought in if Taylor is sold. Here’s an idea: why not bring in Campbell to partner Taylor and sell Coloccini instead? Ridiculous. A partnership of Campbell and Taylor would be the best that the Championship has ever seen. Presumably, Coloccini is on something approaching £50/60k a week – I doubt Campbell would expect half of that. His contract could be laced with promotion based incentives – a hugely enticing prospect for a defender of his age. But when it comes to drawing up contracts, Ashley et al seem hopelessly out of their depth. If Taylor goes, I genuinely fear the ramifications.

Quick word for Reading: They were awful. Not that surprising – they lost Doyle and Hunt and haven’t replaced them. Two league games and no goals, and it was easy to see why. I expect the return fixture to be a lot tougher.

Player Ratings (apologies if I’ve forgotten any details, I’m a bit late with the report this week):

Harper – 6: No obvious errors. A few tricky shots that he managed to hold onto well. I’d still prefer Krul.

R Taylor – 7: World class delivery for Ameobi’s second goal. About time. Danny Simpson was presumably not brought into play understudy, but Taylor probably has a couple of games now to prove that he isn’t as bad as we have accused him of being, or Simpson will be waiting in the wings.

S Taylor – 7: Our best defender. Again. Looks far better than a Championship player – which is highly worrying.

Coloccini – 6: Didn’t cost us any goals, so in that respect he had a good game. Tries to be a bit too fancy sometimes. Which is good, in theory, but he isn’t good enough to get away with it. If he stays, he’ll be a lot more severely tested than he was on Saturday. Wait until he comes up against a strong 6”2 forward and then we’ll see if he’s cut out for this division. All academic to be honest, as I fully expect him to be off, irrespective of whether Taylor stays or goes.

Enrique – 7: Excellent cross for our opening goal. Solid in defence as always. I really hope we keep him. If he goes, just watch him turn into a top class left back for a Spanish side.

Barton – 6: A difficult day on the right side of midfield. Did ok considering its not his position. You can tell that he could be a very good central midfielder, but at the moment I’m not sure I’d trust him with that role. His corner taking was inconsistent. Some excellent ones, some terrible ones. But that is better than Taylor or Geremi – when they’re pretty much all terrible.

Nolan – 7: Strange one, and always difficult to rate out of 10. In the first game of the season against West Brom, he was awful but he set up our goal with a fantastic pass for Duff. On Saturday, he was quite poor again but he managed to pull out another couple of ‘magic’ moments. In the first half he put through Gutierrez with a wonderful through ball (squandered by Jonas) and it was his chasing down of a loose ball that resulted in our second goal. He looks unfit, but still seems a class above most players in the Championship.

Smith – 6: Almost identical to his performance in the West Brom game. At the moment, he is well worth his place in the side. Whilst his shortcomings are still evident on occasion, a fully fit Nolan would make him look even better. With Nolan regularly getting forward to support the strikers, Smith could be left to what he’s good at – winning the ball. However, he could easily have seen red in the first half with a couple of rash challenges. If he’s going to be shielding the back four, he can’t afford to give away too many free kicks in dangerous positions, as he is liable to do.

Gutierrez – 6: Was our best player in the first half, but gradually faded. Much like the West Brom game, lots of dangerous runs that ultimately came to nothing. Was brilliantly put through by Nolan in the first half but embarrassingly failed to even get a shot out from under his feet, such was his panic. This has become a problem and it is clearly a confidence issue. Like Coloccini, I fully expect him to be off in the next few weeks.

Carroll – 6: Worked hard and linked up well with Ameobi. Mostly seems to be playing with his back towards the goal at the moment and it would be nice to see him get into a few more scoring positions in the next couple of games.

Ameobi – 9: Great day for the young (well, 27 year old) Geordie. While I’m still not convinced, you’ve got to give credit where its due and he won us the game today. You’d like to think that he will take a huge amount of confidence from this and maybe, maybe he’ll do well for us this year. MOTM.

SUBS:

Geremi and Xisco – 5: Did nothing of note. Waste of space – both of them. Why was Ranger not brought on? You know, a player that actually has a future at this club.

LuaLua – 6: Looks quick. Erm, that’s about all I noticed.

Duff to Fulham? Steven Taylor to Everton?

So Duff and Steven Taylor are being linked with moves away from the club in the papers this morning. F*** me. 

Ashley will sell anyone that he can, for whatever he can get. We all knew this. And we knew that the only players that he would be able to sell would be our ‘better’ ones, consequently leaving us with all the sh**e that no one wants (Coloccini, Ameobi, Geremi, Xisco, Ryan Taylor). 

£4m would be great money for Duff. He’s 30, awful and he’s on approximately £60/70k a week. Fortunately, people that don’t watch Newcastle United as often as we do have not realised just how bad he is. Take the money and run. 

£8m for Steven Taylor is difficult to turn down. Its decent money and, again, we need to lower the wage bill. I’d love him to stay but what can you do? You go down and you have to lose some of your best players. 

£8m for Bassong was a great deal. He’s a good defender, but he was only here one year and we made a huge profit on him. He wanted to go, he was sulking, and so we did well to get that much in my opinion. 

£9m for Martins was a great bit of business. Never worth £9m.

I loved Beye but we were offered good money for a player in his thirties on good wages. We didn’t have a choice.

Its not the players leaving that is worrying me. We’ve just been relegated. A clear out was necessary and inevitable. I was talking to a Palace supporting friend the other day, and he told me that Shefti Kuqi was released in the summer and he was their highest earner – on approximately £10,000 a week. It was widely reported that in the immediate aftermath of our relegation, our squad contained fifteen players on over £50,000 a week (some on nearly double that), so the maths are simple. 

I’m a realist. Players need to be sold to generate some money and we can’t afford to pay them anymore. Some of the players that will move on you are glad to see the back of, and some (not many in our case) of them you will be gutted to lose. That’s fine. The fans aren’t stupid and we will accept any player being sold in the current circumstances as a necessity. 

But you have to replace them with someone. ANYONE. To sell over half the squad and not bring one single player in is suicide. It is criminal on behalf of Ashley. If you don’t want to spend any money, there are players out there on the cheap. You can get players in on loan. But come on, use your f***ing head for once man. 

Talking of loans, Danny Simpson became our first summer signing today on loan until January from Man Utd. Underwhelmed isn’t the word. Maybe that’s a bit harsh actually. Apparently he did quite well at Sunder***d and Blackburn (although obviously not good enough to convince them to sign him) and lets face it, he’s got to be better than Ryan Taylor. That’s if he even starts ahead of Taylor that is. Worryingly, I fear that he has been signed as a backup. Sobering thought indeed…

Probably not as good as Beye

If Duff goes, good riddance. If Taylor goes, I’ll be extremely sad to see him go. But f*** it, like I said, what can you do?

My big worry now is that a couple of good performances from the likes of Krul and Carroll between now and the end of August may result in a cheeky bid or two from Premiership clubs. If Newcastle are to have any hope of avoiding total meltdown, we need to keep them. A front two of Xisco and Ameobi? No thanks.

A quick striker to partner Carroll is our only way out of this division. Nile Ranger? Possibly. Lovenkrands? Still available on a free after we released him. Well, he’s better than most of our squad, he wanted to play for us and he was on relatively low wages last season, so we of course did the sensible thing – we texted him and told him that his contract isn’t being renewed. Disgusting. A perfectly good player – looked decent in the Premiership and his pace would scare the hell out of Championship defenders – and we treat him like that? Even if Ashley gives the go ahead for a few players to be brought in, I’d be astonished if anyone agrees to join us.

Reading at home tomorrow. Tough game. Stephen Hunt has gone to Hull at least. Jesus, how much happier would we all be feeling next week if we were to get four points from our opening two games? Lets pray for a miracle.

EDIT: Since writing this, there has been some talk from Roy Hodgson regarding Damien Duff.

The Fulham manager has been quoted as saying:

“The clubs are talking and I hope the deal goes through”

So do I

“Damien and I go back a long way from when we worked together at Blackburn”

I didn’t think Hodgson’s time at Blackburn worked out particularly well?

“Damien had injury problems at Chelsea and has done well at Newcastle given the turmoil there”

No he hasn’t

“Every time he’s played for Ireland he’s consistently been one of their best performers”

He hasn’t done that either

Now, I have a huge amount of respect for Hodgson, and he’s not the sort of manager to spout rubbish to the media. If he is talking up a move for Duff, then the chances are that it is more than likely to go through. Bye bye Duff. Thanks for the goal last weekend but thanks for nothing throughout the previous three years.

Now, where to find a replacement slow, one footed, donkey winger that doesn’t like taking on full backs?

PS. I’m not even going to comment on the stories about betting being suspended on JFK coming back. I refuse to believe that it is a possibility.

David O’Leary to Newcastle?!

Right, so we’ve all read the David O’Leary stories and we’ve all laughed/cried (delete where appropriate) at the idea so lets take a more in depth look at this… 

I don’t believe anything I read in the papers anymore regarding Newcastle United. No one knows anything anymore, of that I’m sure. But for the sake of today’s blog, lets make a few assumptions: 

1)       Mike Ashley is unable to sell the club

2)       No transfer money is to be made available

3)       Any player that can be sold, will be sold

4)       The stories about O’Leary are true

 David O’Leary is a manager that experienced an element of success at both of his previous jobs. He took Leeds to a Champions League semi final and never finished outside of the top 6, and he took Villa from the bottom half of the Premiership to a 6^th place finish with an extremely limited squad and no transfer budget. 

However, neither set of fans were sad to see him go when he eventually departed both jobs. 

Better than Hughton or Kinnear... surely

Leeds United – Whilst he is clearly not entirely responsible for the mess he left them in, he did spend a lot of money on a lot of unnecessary players. Seth Johnson, Robbie Fowler, Robbie Keane to name a few… He also failed to qualify for the Champions League for a second successive season – something that Ridsdale had banked on, and arguably something that he should have done with the squad at his disposal. He got Leeds playing some great football. And for a while the unthinkable happened, and they began to become everybody’s second team. However, O’Leary developed a bit of reputation as someone who liked to make excuses to the press. The whole Bowyer/Woodgate incident happened on his watch, and O’Leary foolishly released a book titled Leeds United On Trial, which angered many at the club. By the end of his reign, despite a few great seasons, Leeds had nothing to show for it and O’Leary had spent almost £100m in his four years there. 

Aston Villa – When O’Leary took over at Villa in November 2003, they were hovering above the relegation zone, yet he managed to take them to 6^th place by the end of the season. A slightly disappointing 10^th place followed in 04/05. The notoriously tight ‘Deadly’ Doug Ellis gave O’Leary little in the way of transfer funds, and it wasn’t until the summer of 2005 that O’Leary was able to splash a bit of cash. In came Baros, Phillips, Milner (loan), Berger, Bouma, Cahill and Aaron Hughes but Villa endured a miserable season and O’Leary was dismissed the following summer after finishing 16^th. Again, O’Leary was characterised as an excuse maker and towards the end he often publicly blamed the players after a loss (but when they won, he obviously took the credit). Villa fans generally don’t have a good word to say about the man, citing the miserable football and the overall un-likeable qualities that O’Leary demonstrated in his final year. 

Nowadays, David O’Leary has somewhat of a ‘cheque book’ manager reputation, rather unfairly in my opinion. Whilst it is undeniable that he spent a lot of money – badly – at Leeds United, most of his success at his two clubs came when he was forced to work with what he had at his disposal. 

Would I want him in charge of a transfer budget? No way. But he seems to me to be a fairly decent coach. At least, and this is the key bit, he seems to me to be a far, far better coach than Joe Kinnear or Chris Hughton. 

In this country, there seems to be a nasty culture of ridiculing any manager or player that has one or two bad experiences (see Steve McClaren, Paul Ince, Paul Jewell), despite successes elsewhere in their managerial careers. 

Lets not get too carried away with David O’Leary. He isn’t that bad. I’m not saying he is my number one choice, and if it means that Ashley is staying at the club, then I am praying that none of this happens. But he isn’t a manager who is a proven failure like say, Bryan Robson. And the way he has pathetically linked himself with any job going over the past couple of years indicates that he may just be desperate enough to take the Newcastle job. 

Remember, Mick McCarthy was a spectacular failure in the Premiership with Sunderland and he’s just taken Wolves up as Champions. Despite all the laughing at Newcastle that would undoubtedly take place if O’Leary were to be appointed, he would be a more than capable manager/coach at this level.

Like I said, I hope this doesn’t happen, as that would mean that Ashley is presumably going to be here for the foreseeable future. But if the worst case scenario does happen, and Ashley does stay, we could do a lot worse than David O’Leary (on a one year contract of course). 

PS. I haven’t yet commented on the departures of Habib Beye and Seb Bassong: Good luck to both of them. I’m sure there will be some Newcastle fans out there who are angry at them for jumping ship, but who can blame them? Both men were amongst our few players to come out of last season with any credit, and Newcastle United is a shambles. Along with Steven Taylor, they would have been the main men that I would have liked to keep in an ideal world, but we are getting very good money for both. Bassong let himself down slightly towards the end, but his departure was swift and painless when compared to the years of sulking and moaning we got from N’Zogbia. I’m glad that Habib didn’t waste himself at the wasteland that is Hull City and Spurs is a good step up for Bassong (it kills me to say that as I’ve never thought Spurs were any better than us until this last twelve months). 

Until next time.

West Brom 1 – 1 Newcastle United

NUFC Team: Harper, R Taylor, S Taylor, Coloccini, Enrique, Duff, Nolan, Smith (c), Gutierrez, Ameobi, Carroll

A well worked second half goal from Damien Duff earned Newcastle a perhaps fortunate draw against many people’s favourites for the title yesterday at the Hawthornes.

Despite the men in yellow largely having the best of the first half, it was West Brom who took the lead in the 39th minute when Newcastle typically failed to cope with a routine set piece and the centre back Martis piled in the loose ball.

Harper had come to claim the cross from the free kick but spilled it, and whilst everyone (bar Coloccini) was scrambling around to clear it, Harper got kicked in the head by Ameobi and Martis was left with an even easier chance than the one that he had spooned earlier in the game (from a similar free kick position).

Harper required medical attention for a couple of minutes, and once he was up again, Newcastle looked like they may collapse in a nervy five minutes until the half time whistle. Fortunately, the team were able to make it to the dressing room with their one goal deficit still in tact and the fans at home were treated to a ‘Shearer team talk’ in the BBC studios. He went on to point out our inadequacies, which we all already know, and briefly discussed his ‘could have been’ plans for the summer. On the transfer target list that he had drawn up, Lee Dixon pointed out that they had probably all already moved on, which was met with laughter from Shearer and Lineker. Shearer promptly remarked ‘I don’t know why I’m laughing’ and in that one moment he struck more of a connection with Newcastle fans than anyone else currently at the club could ever do. Plenty of times this summer I have found myself making light of our current situation, and laughing about it with fellow Toon fans on messageboards or with my mates down the pub, and I’m tired of having to do that.

Prior to West Brom’s goal, Newcastle had actually looked half decent, in patches. Plenty of possession but nothing in the final third. Half the players doing alright, and the other half disgracing the shirt. Nothing new there. Gutierrez was the one that will probably divide opinion and frustrate, as usual. The Argentine looked able to beat his marker at will, getting the better of him on at least four or five occasions in the first half. But every single time, the cross was weak, inaccurate and came to nothing.

Which brings me on to my next point. What the hell is with playing wingers on their opposite flanks? We did it last season and it didn’t work then either. Jonas (right footed) on the left flank and Duff (left footed) on the right. Ok, so Duff’s goal came from the right hand side, but other than that, neither winger put in one proper cross all game. Duff’s right foot is non-existent, and Gutierrez’s crossing is poor enough as it is, let alone on his weaker foot. I understand the theory behind this tactic. I know that Jonas, for Argentina, likes to play on the left and cut in on to his favoured right foot. The best example of this sort of player was Robert Pires. Hovering out on the left, he was devastating when he cut inside. But Gutierrez is no Pires. Duff doesn’t need an excuse to cut inside and pass it backwards at the best of times, but when he’s stuck out on the right side of midfield, he is almost forced into it every time. The reason someone like Pires, or even Ashley Young, is so good at cutting inside, is because they are decent with both feet. When a full back knows that a winger can go either way, its hugely difficult to defend against. But defenders know that if they show Gutierrez and Duff down the by-line onto their weaker foot, absolutely nothing is going to come of their crosses. Its easy to defend against, and it pisses me off that a high paid ‘coach’ like Hughton can’t see this.

The teams came out for the second half and Tim Krul came on for the slightly concussed Steve Harper. Krul is a great talent and I have been looking forward to him being given a chance for a long time. Its sad that it came at the expense of a Steve Harper injury, but that was realistically the only opportunity he was ever going to get.

Duff slots in the equaliser on his right foot

Ten minutes into the half our equaliser came. Hughton had obviously told Nolan to get forward more and support the front two (something Shearer also suggested at half time) and that is how he began. Shola, coming in from the left hand side, looked as if he was going to pass it to the overlapping Gutierrez. The defenders obviously thought this too, as it seemed to take them by surprise when he instead opted to pass it neatly into the centrally positioned Nolan on the edge of the area. In a rare glimpse of ability, Nolan calmly controlled it and then perfectly rolled it into the path of the incoming Damien Duff who placed it beautifully into the far corner of the net with his right foot. It was a great move and a great goal – and its not often we have been able to say that in recent years.

Almost immediately, Tim Krul was forced into action with an awesome save from a Robert Koren shot that looked to be headed for the bottom corner. This was the first of four truly excellent stops. Laughably, Mark Lawrenson came out with the statement that “there’ll be 500 or so fans in that away end that had never heard of Krul before today”. What?! Mark, do not make the assumption that just because you know nothing about football, no one else does either. He is our number two keeper, and as was pointed out to you, he made his debut three years ago with a man of the match performance in a hugely impressive 1-0 win in the UEFA Cup away at Palermo.

Should Harper be back in the team for the next game…? Harsh as it is, you have to say that Krul has probably earned another shot. Yes, he didn’t look entirely comfortable on one or two occasions when coming to claim the ball, but he grew in stature as the half wore on. He could barely have had a more impressive 45 minutes, and I’m in no doubt that Harper wouldn’t have made all four of those saves. Harper used to always be justifiably annoyed that no matter how well he played, Given would always come back in and re-claim his place. Well, now the boot is on the other foot. Lets not make the mistake of awarding Harper the number 1 spot just because of his loyalty to us over the years. He’s extremely likeable and professional, and in an ideal world, he would be my keeper. But there is a reason he was never given an extended run in the team – he wasn’t good enough. He was a very good back up, but not a goalie that you wanted to build your team on. As it is, apparently Hughton has come out and said that Harper will be back in the team for the next game, so we will wait and see how it pans out over the course of the season.

On the 75 minute mark, Hughton made his 2nd substitution of the day. Barton for Carroll. I’m not going to get into the stories about Barton getting in a huff and storming out of training. It probably did happen. I don’t like the bloke – he’s a scumbag. But he’s probably our best player. Play him, or sell him. Regardless of that, the decision to bring off Carroll was staggering. Carroll had worked hard all day, won the majority of aerial balls that came his way and had generally put in a very good shift. You may notice that I haven’t mentioned Ameobi much yet, and that’s because I’m saving that for later. But by the 75th minute, Nolan was breathing out of his fucking arse. After 10 minutes of getting forward, the goal arrived, and Nolan promptly went back to working on his vanishing act. One decent pass in 90 minutes is not acceptable. I’ve been a massive critic of Smith, but he did well today. His passing and shooting was still piss poor, but he made some great tackles and he was essentially doing the work of two men. Barton should have been brought on for Nolan or Ameobi. No doubt about it. To instead bring off Carroll is ineptitude of the highest order, and shows Hughton up as the clueless man that we all know he is.

From this point onwards, we were largely holding on for the draw. A West Brom goal was correctly ruled out for offside in the dying seconds, in a moment that had Newcastle fans everywhere collectively soiling themselves. Nile Ranger was brought on for Ameobi with three minutes to go and looked more threatening than Ameobi had done in the previous ninety.

Very good result, but the performance has a lot of room for improvement.

Player ratings:

Harper – 5: Spilled the ball that led to the West Brom goal, and had little else to do. Not his fault that he was kicked in the head by the oaf Ameobi.

R Taylor – 4: Awful, awful player. Barely found a teammate with a pass all game and to call his set pieces inconsistent would be extremely generous. Not a patch on Beye and we need a proper RB replacement desperately.

S Taylor – 7: Our best defender. Made a couple of weak headed clearances that fell to West Brom players in dangerous positions but other than that he was pretty solid. Typical Taylor.

Coloccini – 4: Woeful. Looks just as out of his depth here as he did in the Premiership. Replays of the West Brom goal showed that whilst all around him were scrambling to clear the ball, Coloccini was standing outside the six yard box with his hands on his hips. It comes as no surprise that the man who put the ball in the net, Shelton Martis, was the man Coloccini was supposed to be marking. Needs to be flogged back to Spain for whatever we can get and Kadar needs to be given a go.

Enrique – 6: Passing was a little wayward but this was a half decent performance, as we’ve come to expect from the Spainard. Rarely a liability in defence, he should start to prosper if paired up with a proper left winger in Duff.

Duff – 6: Took his goal brilliantly, and whilst he spooned a good chance in the first half, it was stupidly put on to his weaker right foot by Carroll. Clearly uncomfortable out on the right wing, he needs to be switched to his proper position as soon as possible.

Nolan – 5: A big, fat disgrace. Evidently woefully unfit. Its the first game of the season for God sake! What’s he been doing in pre-season? A good pass for the goal, which prevented him being given a 2. Offers nothing. Hopefully someone like Hull will come in and give us a couple of million for him, as he is no good to us.

Smith – 6: Has received a few plaudits since the game yesterday, but lets not get carried away. He looked incredible in comparison to Nolan and relative to our low expectations for him. He still can’t pass or shoot, and he’s still on approximately £60k a week. He’s not worth it. Hopefully his performance yesterday will convince someone in the Prem to take him off our hands. A partnership of Barton and Guthrie is still our best.

Gutierrez – 5: A generous 5 at that. Beat his full back on numerous occasions but still can’t cross or shoot for shit. In the second half, he began diving at every opportunity. It was embarrassing. The referee was having none of it, which resulted in no one believing him when he went down after genuinely being whacked on the side of the head. He was typified when in the first half, Gutierrez found himself on his own in the middle of the pitch on the ball. No one was making any runs, so he started waving his arms about. Ryan Taylor then belatedly made a run, only for Gutierrez to fail to find him, feebly passing the ball out of play when only 6 or 7 yards away from his intended target.

Carroll – 6: Worked hard, won the ball in the air more often than not and had some decent touches. Needs a new partner…

Ameobi – 3: Ah. Ameobi. Fucking useless. This man is a disgrace and no longer fit to wear the shirt. Hopelessly out of his depth even at this level. Tried a couple of tricks and flicks that didn’t come off. No skill, no pace, no finishing ability and lazy. We need to either bring someone else in or at least give Ranger a go ahead of him. Beckford, who was rumoured to be a target earlier in the summer, scored 2 goals for Leeds yesterday. Typical. Not a chance of getting him anymore.

Subs:

Krul – 8: Brilliant league debut. Four terrific stops, despite what Lawrenson may tell you. Should be given a run in the team in my opinion, but unlikely with Hughton in charge. MOTM

Barton – 5: Didn’t really do much when he came on.

Ranger – N/A: Not given enough time.

Joe Kinnear? F*** Off

No doubt you have all read the absolute fucking guff from Joe Kinnear today. I could spend an entire day writing about this tool but instead I will simply provide some quotes from JFK over the past 7 months…

Billy Liar

In January ’09, he came out with this beauty:

I know what my own future is.

I’m just mulling over things in my head at the moment. I have been offered a very lucrative contract.

Mike Ashley, Derek Llambias and I, we’ve sat down and talked about taking the club forward and about reinvesting in the club in the summer.

Does anyone remember when he started going on about those two mystery ‘imminent’ loan signings? And then when he started spouting off about Stephane M’Bia?

I have never been a manager who has just blown money. Mbia is my first choice, he is something that we need

If Geremi leaves I might put all my eggs in one basket, cancel the loan players I was considering and pay £10million for one player.

Ever wondered whose idea it was to buy Ryan Taylor, Kevin Nolan and Peter Lovenkrands? Look no further:

Every signing who comes in during the new year will be a Joe Kinnear signing, 100%. I’ve cleared that at boardroom level and I feel it’s much easier and healthier when everyone knows what their job details are. I put that to the board and they were happy with it, I got my conditions granted.

Don’t believe his lies for a second. As stupid as Ashley undoubtedly is, I doubt that Kinnear has been offered squat. Even if Ashley considers Kinnear to be a fountain of knowledge, he has already shown that he is not up to the physical demands of football management. This man must never come near our club again. He is a proven liar and a proven failure. Four wins under his stewardship and yet some people still come out with the old ‘Kinnear didn’t do a bad job under the circumstances’! Yes, he did. He is fucking clueless and beginning to rival Tony Adams in the bullshit stakes.

Until tomorrow…

Championship 09/10 Preview

With the new season only days away, now is probably a good time to preview both Newcastle’s chances this season and who our main rivals in the Championship are going to be this year. I’m sure I’m not alone amongst Newcastle fans in being slightly unfamiliar with our new division and, worryingly, I fear our current squad are going to be much the same way. I’ve done a little bit of reading the last couple of days and come up with my choices for promotion.

For some insane reason, some bookies are making us favourites to win the Championship. What a joke. At the moment, I am simply praying that we do not suffer successive relegations.

A quick analysis of our own prospects:

Reasons to be optimistic –  

• Say what you want, but at one time or another, most of the squad have been very good players (albeit not in a Newcastle shirt). Barton, Smith and Butt are ex England internationals. Coloccini and Gutierrez are Argentina squad semi-regulars. Butt, Duff and Smith have won Premiership titles and played in the Champions League.
• In Steven Taylor and Steve Harper, we have two experienced players that love the club, and whilst they may not have been perfect in the Premiership, they are more than good enough for the Championship.
• Lua Lua, Ranger, Kadar, Donaldson, Vuckic and Tozer. One or two of them will hopefully make the cut.
• Whilst Butt may be ancient, and Nolan fat, the midfield four of Butt, Nolan, Barton and Guthrie is still surely better than anything else in the division.
• Beye and Enrique – if held onto – would be the best two full backs in the league.

Reasons to make you jump off a bridge –  

• The squad is made up of players who used to be good.
• Martins, Viduka and Owen have all left and not been replaced, leaving us with nothing upfront.
• There are a few players that are arguably not even good enough for the Championship – Ameobi, Xisco, Geremi, Ryan Taylor.
• Half of the squad don’t want to be there anymore.
• No manager.
• No money to re-invest in the team.
• Everyone is going to want to beat Newcastle.
• Anyone could potentially be sold before September 1^st.

Main Man –

Andy Carroll: Our defence should be reasonably solid and whilst our midfield lacks pace and creativity, a central midfield partnership of Guthrie and Barton should comfortably be the best in the division. But what will decide our fate this season is whether we can muster up a striker that will score us 20 goals. We all know Ameobi is not going to be that man, and unless Ashley surprises us and buys someone like Jermaine Beckford, then that burden is going to fall on Andy Carroll’s shoulders. Worryingly, the fact that Ameobi and Carroll are both 6ft+ and that Carroll is so strong in the air will probably convince Hughton to go with the route one option more often than not… and route one is not the way we are going to get out of this league. Championship defenders are used to the long ball game. They can handle it. Especially against someone as lightweight as Shola. It is pace that they can’t handle. We need two quick wingers that are going to be able to beat their man and get some crosses in. If that sounds easier said than done, it isn’t. I’m not over simplifying things – it is easy. In Lua Lua we have a player that is lightning fast and has shown a real eagerness to take on players in the brief glimpses we’ve seen so far. And in Duff we have a player that may not be quick enough to get past the likes of Evra, Cole and Sagna anymore, but should be rubbing his hands with glee at the thought of some lesser full backs to try his luck against. Duff’s delivery always looked quite good to me last season, so assuming that he is given just that tiny bit more space in the Championship, it could make all the difference. Forget Gutierrez. If footballs were made of metal, and Carroll was wearing a giant f***ing magnet as a hat, Gutierrez still wouldn’t be able to put the ball on his head.

Final Prediction: 11^th

The Contenders –

Ipswich Town: Ipswich Town and Roy Keane. One of the few things I was looking forward to this season was the clash of Roy Keane and Alan Shearer… Keane v Hughton doesn’t have the same ring to it. The sale of youngster Jordan Rhodes to Huddersfield seems to have divided Ipswich fans – he was thought of by many as a hugely impressive talent – and there already seems to be a small element of Ipswich fans that are waiting for Keane to slip up. Whilst I would certainly be a little dubious about giving him too much money to spend after his mis-adventures in Sunderl**d, the job he did in taking them up at the first attempt was admittedly brilliant and I fancy him to take Ipswich to a playoff spot at least. Kevin Lisbie has just been shipped out on loan too – much to the joy of the Ipswich fans (he is utterly useless) – so they are apparently expecting Keane to sign a striker in the coming weeks to partner the reliable John Stead. Like Newcastle, the club will want to do it for Bobby. Prediction: 3^rd

Reading: No more Steve Coppell and no more Kevin Doyle – two massive, massive losses. Like Ipswich, the fans aren’t in full agreement over the appointment of their manager, Brendan Rodgers. As a neutral, I’m not so sure. To many, Coppell was Reading, and some might fear a hangover of Charlton/Curbishley proportions. Some fans are optimistic after an impressive pre-season 2-2 draw with Chelsea the other day but it is important not to read too much into that. Signings have been lacking but finally defender Matt Mills looks to have signed for £2m from Doncaster, and from what I have read he could be a great signing for them. Another striker is probably needed, and assuming they manage that, I can see them in the playoffs again. Prediction: 6^th

Sheffield Utd: The fans are growing inpatient with Kevin Blackwell, very inpatient. The signing of Ched Evans is a good one in my view, but apparently it has not convinced the Utd fans. They are another team that is in need of a striker, and – like Newcastle – Beckford is being mentioned. Billy Sharp is on the transfer list and Darius Henderson is a severely limited player. Beattie was a big loss and was clearly far too good for the Championship. Apparently the atmosphere at Bramall Lane was not particularly pleasant last season, and the departure of Naughton wouldn’t have helped. If Blackwell gets off to a bad start, he could be shown the door early on. Prediction: 8^th

QPR: Second richest club in the world, but still a complete joke. If you ever listen to Flavio Briatore talking about F1, he talks utter rubbish. And that’s supposed to be the sport that he is an expert in. As long as this man is in a position of anything resembling power at Loftus Road, they will continue to under whelm. Prediction: 9^th

Middlesbrough: Oddly, Gareth Southgate remains one of the most popular managers (amongst neutrals) in the country despite being relegated last season. Boro, last season, were diabolical. Downing has gone and Tuncay is surely next. Mido has gone, but he was useless anyway, whilst no one wants Alves – the 2^nd worst Brazilian in the world after Cacapa. It looks like Southgate is going to be sensible and stick with the same youth policy that wasn’t good enough last season. In Adam Johnson and David Wheater they have two of the best players in the division, whilst Huth and Gary O’Neil are Premiership quality players. Upfront is where they were going to struggle, and they have gone some way to remedy that situation today with the free signing of Leroy Lita, who should get them at least 15 goals if he stays fit. Assuming that Tuncay is sold, Southgate may hope to have that money to spend on a replacement, which could make all the difference. Prediction: 2^nd

Cardiff City: Bit of an outside bet, this. If they can keep hold of Ledley, McCormack and Chopra, it is surely Cardiff’s time this year. Cardiff completely blew it last season when they missed out on a playoff spot as a result of their disastrous six goal defeat at Preston, and Dave Jones knows that this will probably be his last attempt with the Bluebirds. One significant addition in midfield to go with Ledley should do the trick. The fans are waiting to get on Jones’ back about the midfield but Jones is a manager who can cope with adversity. My tip for the title. Prediction: 1^st

West Brom: West Brom are always praised for their ability to bounce back up and rightly so, although not going down in the first place would obviously be preferable. Di Matteo is a hugely popular man in the game and most would like to see him succeed, me included. Marc Antoine Fortune is not much of a loss, and Simon Cox is possibly the Championship signing of the summer. At just 22 years of age he scored 29 league goals in League One last season for Swindon Town. Newcastle could have done with him, badly.     Prediction: 4^th

Sheffield Wednesday: My surprise team this season is Sheffield Wednesday. After years in the wilderness, they seem to be getting things together at last, and I’m happy for them. Marcus Tudgay was convinced to stay and he could have a big, big season. The new chairman, Lee Strafford, seems like a great guy and they finally appear to be in a safe pair of hands. Apparently Tommy Spurr is a very good player, whilst Darren Purse always impressed me first at Birmingham and then at Cardiff – he’s a very good signing. Akpo Sodje, if he can stay fit, could provide the goals alongside Tudgay. Big if though – he’s already injured for the season opener. Prediction: 5^th

Would 11^th be a good season? Most Newcastle fans wouldn’t think so. But I think its vital that we consider the circumstances. Should our current squad be capable of achieving promotion? Of course. But we know full well that they have a nasty track record of playing like they don’t give a sh**. I don’t see why they’d be any different now they’re playing in even less glamorous surroundings.

I fear that the culture shock is going to be too big for some of the players. The first aim has to be to make sure we don’t plummet even further. And if we’re hovering around the 10^th/11^th position mark come January, then yeah, there is nothing to say that we can’t make a playoff push in the second half of the season.

Roll on Saturday!

Finally, a quick word on Bassong supposedly being fined for deliberately missing the friendly at Dundee United. Now, Bassong was excellent last season. But he wasn’t so good that he can start going on strike with our blessing. Do they put something in the water in France or what? Every single French player we’ve had has turned out to be a complete tw*t. Domi, Bernard, Robert, N’Zogbia, Bassong…

There’s a lesson to be learned in there somewhere.

Dundee Utd 1 – 1 Newcastle United. And £10m for Bassong?!

NUFC: Harper, R Taylor, Kadar, S Taylor, Enrique, Duff, Barton, Smith (c), Gutierrez, Nolan, Carroll. SUBS: Geremi, Lua Lua, Krul, Tozer, Donaldson, Vuckic

An Andy Carroll goal was cancelled out by a late David Goodwillie penalty – their second of the game – in a 1-1 draw at Tannadice Park this afternoon.

Harper had already saved a Danny Swanson penalty almost straight after Carroll’s opener, but he could not make it two saves from two after Ryan Taylor was adjudged to have pulled at the shirt of Craig Conway with five minutes left on the clock. Ryan Taylor, by the way, is absolutely dire. Bought in as a supposed ‘set piece specialist’, I have still yet to see one even half decent free kick or corner from him. Shocking, shocking buy.

With only one week remaining until the start of the new season, today’s starting line up presumably resembles something like the one that will be starting at West Brom next Saturday.

And it seems that Smith is designated captain for the season. I don’t know about you, but I tend to think that the captain should always be the first name on the team sheet. And Smith, clearly, should not be one of the first names on the team sheet. He’s played every friendly, and I’m still not sure where his position is. Centre mid? Barton, Guthrie, Nolan and even Butt are far, far better. Upfront? To be honest, I wouldn’t mind seeing him given a go in this position, but Hughton seems reluctant to go with that, instead inexplicably preferring Nolan in that role…

Our starting lineup is a mess at the moment. Gutierrez has started every pre-season game, but his attitude implies that he’s off before the end of August. So why start him ahead of Lua Lua in every game? Our formation has been inconsistent. Are we playing 4-4-2? 4-3-3? 4-5-1? I genuinely have no idea. Players have been playing in more than one position throughout the ninety minutes – Nolan in particular. Never a good sign. Nolan is not a striker. Just because he played in Allardyce’s Bolton side, does not mean he is comfortable playing the figurehead in a long ball game.

Yes, pre-season should be used to experiment, but it should also be used to eventually settle on a plan for the forthcoming season, and I’m not convinced that Hughton is any nearer to knowing how his team on Saturday will line up. Saying that, it must be difficult to work out your lineup with the knowledge that any of your players could be sold from under you at any time, but I’m not sure how that explains the Smith/Nolan mess.

For what its worth, assuming that no one else is sold between now and next weekend (and that Bassong moves to Spurs – more on that later), this would be my team for Saturday:

Harper

Beye   S Taylor  Kadar    Enrique

Lua Lua   Guthrie   Barton   Duff

Carroll   Smith

Brief explanation for some of those decisions:

• Coloccini is garbage and only likely to look even worse in the Championship. Kadar is a big lad and doesn’t look like he’s afraid of heading the ball… which is always a bonus for a Centre Back.
• We should do everything within our power to keep Beye and Enrique. They are both Premiership quality full backs and could be seriously impressive in the Championship. Sadly, Habib will probably be off soon-ish.
• Get Lua Lua in. Pace is the biggest asset in the Championship. Most teams can’t handle it. And his contribution in goals and assists can’t exactly be any worse than Gutierrez last season (zero). Jonas’ attitude has been disgusting this pre-season and he doesn’t deserve a spot in the first team. Flog him back to Spain for whatever we can get.
• Guthrie and Barton would be the best central midfield pairing in the division by an absolute mile. Both are in good shape, especially when compared to the ancient Butt and Viduka mkII: Nolan, and being able to run for 90 minutes is a decent attribute to possess in football. Someone should have told our managers that last year when they decided on Butt and Nolan as our main central pairing.
• Smith is poor, piss poor. But he’s better than Ameobi and Xisco. I’d like Ranger to be given a go but it might be best if its initially from the bench. This is the position that we must strengthen. There’s a lot of talk at the moment that a deal for Beckford is only days away. If true, I would be more than delighted with a front pairing of Carroll and Beckford, and Smith dropping to the bench.

And so we’ve rejected a £10m bid from Spurs for Seb Bassong. Insane. I genuinely can’t get my head around this one. I mean, £10m is a great price for him. He’s a very good defender, the best I’ve seen in a black and white shirt since Woodgate. But he’s only been here one year and we’re getting twenty times what we paid for him. I honestly can’t say whether rejecting £10m is a good or bad decision.

Better than Cacapa

As is so often the case as a Newcastle fan, I’m worried, and confused. I’m worried about what Ashley’s up to. The Ashley we know would have accepted that bid in a shot. We’ve seen it with Martins, Given, N’Zogbia and Milner. He sees an offer of a few million quid and he’s all over it. No negotiating, he just takes it.

Has Ashley been told by a prospective new owner that Bassong is one of the few players that we have to keep? Or, has Ashley even lined up a manager for the eventuality that we’re not sold? And has that manager (Shearer? Unlikely) said that he wants Bassong and Steven Taylor there next season? Its the only logical explanation in my eyes.

If I were the owner of Newcastle United, I would accept the £10m bid. I would put that money back into the team and I like to think that I would have a fair idea of what sort of players to buy. However, with Ashley there, we know that if Bassong is sold that money is simply going into Ashley’s pocket. And even if he did use it to strengthen the side, who would be selecting the players? Hughton? Denise Wise, by email?

Considering the circumstances, I think it is undoubtedly a good thing for us fans that we’ve rejected the bid. Yes, its good money, but we absolutely cannot trust Ashley to use that cash wisely.

Whilst writing this, I’ve seen that old ‘Arry Redknapp has denied reports that they put in a bid for Seb. Don’t believe a word the snake says. When it comes to discussing transfers in the media, no one chats quite as much shite as ‘Arry.

One quick final word on the tributes to Bobby Robson this word. Incredible. Every football fan around the country has been incredible. Yes, Sunderland fans too. This is the calibre of the man. A man that transcended footballing rivalries. Loved by everyone.

Lets hope that the Newcastle players can take a little bit of inspiration from the passing of a true Newcastle United hero and do the man proud.